Here I am… once again…

Yep – that’s right – I am back…. sigh!!!

What can I say? It’s been a journey.  I’m no longer 35… now 38 turning 39 this year… I won’t rename the blog though. 

Am I fit? – yes! And I say that after recently completing yet another fitness challenge – 8 weeks intense-ish training 6 days a week and food programme.

I lost something like 13lbs which isn’t bad, except 10 was lost in the first 4 weeks and then I kind of coasted along didn’t stick ridgidly to the food plan and didn’t push myself  – no let me rephrase that – I didn’t challenge myself with the weights (i don’t like weight training – bores me) enough to continue the rate of weight loss.  In fact see my assessment sheet

So now the programme is over once again Pandora’s box has been opened and I can’t seem to stick to a food programme consistently enough to see results.

It’s been two weeks – I’ve been training hard too with the endurance group so that’s not the problem – it never has been, but it’s the food.  That switch in my brain will not stay off or on long enough to get the results!

I keep reading fitness sites…. such as this one…. http://www.fitnessandpower.com/nutrition/improve-insulin-sensitivity

See pics of body transformation and wondering why can I not focus for long enough to shred the fat I want and get the leanness I like to see?

Well two things spring to mind… may be I’m actually happy and ok with my body… I look in the mirror and like what I see (I actually do look in the mirror and think – yes I look good!! Lol) . Then secondly may be its the lack of accountability.  I clearly don’t value myself enough to stay focused for me…. when I did my first programme with Ryall almost 2 yrs ago I managed it for 12 weeks and lost close to 20lbs… so I know I can do it… but I had to report to her weekly about what I was eating, drinking and exercise.  That accountability – not wanting to let her down or should I say not wanting to feel shamed for not achieving results and looking for that pat on the back…. – THATS IT! I’ve got it.  I respond to outside recognition and praise… I feel I need their approval or encouragement or something…. gosh this is turning into a psycho therapy blog not fitness!

But in essence and to stop rambling my fitness journey is fuelled by a psychological battle with myself, my inner desires and my ego! And now I am here appealing to you readers I guess to help me and join me to get to my 160lb target. 

I’m going to blog each and every time I need to – as my crutch and support to help me get there as I don’t have Ryall or any other physical coach here for me to be held accountable to or to say well done keep going… so I turned to the net- complete strangers! – wow this will be a psychological test in itself. 

So look out for it – food, training and general diarising of my daily battle with self to get to 160lbs. 

I’m like 177lbs now – shit! 

Help! 

Bed time – 4:30am tomorrow running WOD here I come to kill some fat!  It’s good to be back!

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Here I am… once again…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s