Breaking out of my comfort zone

You could say I’ve been somewhat AWOL these last few days – which in fact is very true.  The thing is, I have to go with my mood and not push it.  Pushing it when I shouldn’t is what has gotten me injured in the first place, and as I realise now there’s several aspects of my life that go hand-in-hand: training, eating, blogging.  Since the injury the training naturally stopped, and as much as I have tried to maintain the food programme, I have not followed it religiously these passed few days…something like 60% compliant.  Copious amounts rice, a twix, some ice cream, and alcohol.  Not necessarily in that order but they have all been eaten – but I don’t mind.  Why? because I’ve had a great few days with various different friends, socialising, chatting and generally enjoying life.

My friend @maleneblifestyle was on the island, so we had fun catching up and taking her to different food spots.  The great thing is she doesn’t drink and is also a vegetarian which meant I was able to keep it relatively healthy and also not be tempted to drink too much alcohol.  That’s the thing, when you’re on a journey like this the people around you are so important.  Don’t get me wrong I have some fantastic friends but you know sometimes they’re like.. ‘come on Jo have a drink’ or ‘I prefer it when you’re drinking, you’re more fun!’ … ‘come on Jo, when are you going to stop all this and just enjoy it?’

But – I do actually enjoy eating healthily.  I enjoy eating good food and lots of it.  The way I eat is a lifestyle for me.  I like to look at food and know what it is.  As for the alcohol… well I’m not going to lie, I like it.  I like it when I’m ‘sweet’ and the inhibitions are gone but I’m still in control.  I like that and I don’t see anything wrong with it in moderation if I’m honest.  But, it is a problem if I find I can’t socialise without alcohol.  Not that I can’t but, but I definitely find it awkward and would rather be in the corner by myself or better still at home on the sofa…lol.  I’m not great at conversation, I’m not good at story telling… you know those people that always have a captive audience that seem burst with laughter with everything they say – that’s not me.  I have my moments when I’m alcohol fueled, but the rest of the time it’s generally situational. And so that’s the point I have to find that happy medium, I have to find that confidence in myself to say whats on my mind when I’m out and not have so many inhibitions.

I’ve had a couple of ‘being brave’ moments this past week actually, where I have broken out of my comfort zone.  Last Sunday I went to a theatre production on my own.  I would NEVER and have never done that before, never even been to the cinema on my own.  I just about have lunch on my own in public, and I have had dinner by myself when traveling with work on my own.  I certainly haven’t gotten dressed up and gone to a bar or a club on my own.  I’ve sat at a bar on my own – like during the day, but not at night unless waiting to meet someone.

Then yesterday – well….where do I start? miss Malene B comes by my house and was like ‘oh i love the colours out here, we’re gonna do a photo shoot’.  And simply not taking no for an answer she whipped out her iPhone and started taking pics of me… I mean me, on a photoshoot? – I had not make up on, was in the same dress that’s too big and have to use belt to hold it up (but it conceals my strapped up knee you see).  Have you heard anything so ridiculous?  Yes I felt like a complete idiot.  I don’t know how to pose.  I’m not one of those girls that spends house in front of a mirror ‘practicing’.  Malene says I gotta practice!  She’s like do sexy – I’m like ‘earth swallow me now’ Anyhow after a few 100 pictures I’m sure, we actually got quite few really nice pics, that I am totally proud of.  And she took it a step further and made me post a few pics on Facebook.  She was like we’re not going out tonight till you post and update your profile pic.  So I did and I’m somewhat overwhelmed by the lovely comments from my friends about the pics.  It’s been a major confidence boost.  I still have issues with the self indulgence thing and ego feeding, but as moderation is the word of the day, every now and then wont hurt – we all need an ego boost once in a while.  As long as I don’t turn into one of those selfie taking girls – right?!

And the final thing I did, which again was breaking out of my comfort zone was – believe it or not – going to the gym today and working out by myself!!! YES! can you believe it?  It’s not something I do.  It’s intimidating.  Whilst I’m accustomed to going to the gym, I don’t go and train by myself.  The big guys, the pro’s go by themselves and lift heavy weights etc.   Not me who doesn’t know what she’s doing.  I just feel self conscious that they’re watching and criticizing etc.  Stupid I know and irrational probably.  As my friend said about going out on my own… most people are too concerned with themselves rather than whether you’re on your own or not.  And I guess the same applies in the gym.  Yeah people asked how comes I missed the class… and stuff. But nothing more.  I had a good workout though:

10 rounds of rowing 300m – arms only.  Racked up 15 calories each time.

45sec working rest in between with fully extended medicine ball sit-ups using a 14lb ball.

After that I did 3 rounds of  10x bicep curls with 35lb bar with  10 pushups in between.

Then I held plank and did pull-ups with the band though.  Arms were tired by that point.  And that was it.  A good session.

The rest of the day was spent chilling.  I tried something new – cooking aubergine or eggplant.  turned out quite nice.  I think this is my next challenge to focus of learning some new recipes to get more variety in the vegetables I make – why? because I’m thinking of going vegetarian possibly even vegan. I’ve not bought any eggs this week.  That’s the one thing I’m going to struggle to do without.  I eat a lot of eggs.  Oh well it’s been two days thus far.

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