The struggle continues

Yesterday started off pretty positive actually, woke early battled with myself about whether to go to the gym or not, but I did in the end and did my own workout because of the knees 😩 I can’t tell you how gutted I am to be injured.  I’ve never been so annoyed in all my life – and so the struggle is the comfort eating.  What’s going to make me feel good during this period of immobility? Well I managed to at least prepare food yesterday that was clean – I still had coffee and tea at work with sugar.  It’s now become a problem I reckon as in an addiction.  I have such a strong association with work and coffee/tea it’s ridiculous.  I don’t touch it at home at all… it doesn’t even enter my mind to have a coffee in the morning.  Even over the weekend when I’m home all day I drink green tea or sorrel tea with no sugar or anything!  I think that’s got to be my focus during this period whilst I’m out – to kick the habit. Because now I’m not running or squatting etc my food intake is going to be imperative.  I’m actually quite interested to see how my body reacts to only managing my food without the exercise.  I mean let’s face it – I’m getting old.  The body simply can’t withstand the strain it used to.  And to be fair I can’t and don’t want to spend the rest of my life working out daily.  I’ve got to find a place of comfort and acceptance – ideally at 160lbs if I ever flaming well get there! 😂 

It all boils down to my food and drink.  Last night I went to a book launch and had a glass of wine when I really didn’t even want one. I did have 2 glasses of water after mind you as I realized it was pointless.  But then the journey home…. what am I going to eat for dinner, it’s after 8pm, I’m tired, I don’t want to cook, there’s chicken barn on the way home… I could get some chicken and chips, I’ve not had chicken barn for ages, no keep driving Jo, don’t do it, but it’s just today, but you said you’re eating clean, keep driving – I can’t be arsed to get out the car anyhow… there’s steps and my knee hurts- keeping driving and go home.  And there was the struggle.  But I made it home.  But then there’s the fridge.  I still don’t want to cook and I go from snacking on nuts to tortilla chips to cooking chickpea curry mainly for the next day.  

And that’s what happened.  The constant battle with myself. Can’t wait for the struggle to end and it just be that I make the right choices. 

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